---
title: "The Goals of Relationship Counselling"
date: 2025-07-24
author: "Kimberley Payne"
featured_image: "https://bestmarriages.ca/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/benefits.png"
---

# The Goals of Relationship Counselling

# The Goals of Relationship Counselling

Our counselling approach is built on the groundbreaking research of Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. For over 40 years, Dr. Gottman has studied thousands of couples, uncovering the keys to lasting love and what helps relationships thrive. His world-renowned work on marriage, parenting, and relationship dynamics has earned him countless awards — and continues to guide how we help couples build stronger, more connected relationships.









Our goals for relationship counselling are based on Gottman Method Couples Therapy and the work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Dr. John Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He is the author or co-author of over 200 published academic articles and more than 50 books, including the **2024** ***NEW YORK TIMES* BESTSELLER Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection**, and others such as the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; What Makes Love Last; Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love; The Relationship Cure; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail; and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child — among many others. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, Reader’s Digest, and Psychology Today.









#### Topics will include:

1. Understanding personality differences
2. How to build passion and love back into the relationship
3. How to solve or dialogue effectively about any issue you face
4. Learning about love languages and how to discover yours
5. How to process failed bids for connection
6. Building a shared meaning system that propels you into a more fulfilling future.

![](https://bestmarriages.ca/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Couple-in-love-1024x576.png)#### You will be expected to:

- Inform your Therapist if you are not understanding something or if he/she is missing something
- Do weekly homework
- Participate fully in all appointments
- Commit to having a better relationship







![](https://bestmarriages.ca/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Couples-Counselling-1024x576.png)#### You Will Learn:

- How to develop and create a shared system of values and meanings
- How your personality styles affect your relationship and what to do about it simple negotiation techniques
- How to identify and find antidotes for the “Four Horsemen”: Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
- About your “Friendship Profile”, the “Conflict Profile”, and the “Shared Meanings Profile”
- How to resolve the “physiological flooding” and anxious feelings that accompany many relationships
- To successfully dialogue about grid-locked conflicts
- To establish six social skills necessary for effective conflict resolution
- To love unconditionally with no strings attached
- Stages of forgiveness and how to apologize and mean it
- How to deepen “the friendship System”











#### If you are ready to undertake these expectations and would like to see the above tools and principles developed in your relationship, call us at 604-539-5277 to set up a counselling session.

[Our Counselling Process](https://bestmarriages.ca/what-we-do/our-couples-counselling-process/)

Don’t live in our area? We can still help — see our page on marathon counselling sessions and call us today for further information. We also offer professional advice and guidance on dealing with affairs, depression, addiction, trauma and violent behaviour.









### Does Your Partner Drive You Crazy And You Don’t Know Why?

Learn more about your personality styles, and how they affect your relationship.

[Take the Relationship Personality Quiz](https://bestmarriages.ca/blogs-resources/relationship-counselling-quiz/)





### Don’t throw in the towel – your relationship is worth fighting for

Even though it is easy to lose hope in finding a way out, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Our job is to help you find it.

[Find a certified marriage counsellor today!](https://bestmarriages.ca/contact-us/)