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The Extreme Marriage Makeover Challenge™

Each question on the quiz below shows two statements with a five-step scale below them. Complete the quiz by clicking the circle in the range that is closest to the statement (on the left or right) that describes what you are experiencing right now in your relationship.

The 30 items on this quiz have been chosen because they are the most frequently discussed issues and outcomes in couples’ counselling in our practice. After completing the quiz you will receive your score and some suggestions on how to fill the gap between a challenging relationship and an extraordinary one. If Your Partner is driving you crazy than maybe you need to understand their personality profile. If so, take our Relationship Personality Profile as well.

Start the Challenge!

We seem to have a pattern of arguing about the same things.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We quickly identify, negotiate and resolve our differences and move on.
I’m tired of doing all the work in this relationship.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We both take responsibility for the success of this relationship.
Sometimes I feel more like a roommate living a separate life.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We are best friends and we share intimate moment’s everyday.
I don’t feel attractive to my spouse.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I know that I am adored and attractive to my spouse.
I feel held back like I am trapped in a prison.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I can’t wait to be at home and hang out with my partner.
We don’t seem to date anymore because there’s so much on the go right now.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We make time to go on special outings together on a regular basis.
I don’t feel I know my spouse’s dreams, fears or aspirations. Everything feels like small talk.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We share intimately and I know my spouses current fears, dreams and aspirations. Our communication is awesome.
We do not have the same interests.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We love doing so many of the same things.
I’m not happy with my present role in the home and do not feel like we are on the same page.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We have come to agreements on roles in the home and both feel happy with our current responsibilities.
We seem to have different values and chosen paths with very little in common*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We know each others values and goals and compliment each other perfectly. We talk about where we are going and how we are both integral to getting there.
Our sex life is very seasonal. (once in the spring, once in the winter, etc) I want more than just mundane obligated sex.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
Our sexual relationship is vibrant, fun and fulfilling.
Our personalities and needs seem to be far apart and incompatible.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I understand my spouse’s personality differences and needs and we ARE very compatible.
I’m tired of not being able to share my thoughts and feelings without being attacked or blamed.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We freely share our thoughts and feelings in a respectful and honoring way all the time.
My partner frequently complains, nags or criticizes to try to change me or get their way.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I am completely free to be myself and know that I am accepted and supported unconditionally, including all my decisions.
I feel Like I am always the one chasing after my spouse to be close to them.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I feel comfortable with the amount of space between us and no one is trying to avoid closeness or intimacy.
I feel like our relationship has stalled.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I am in a relationship that is constantly growing and evolving.
There is too much bitterness and resentment that I can’t seem to forgive or let go of.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I have learned to forgive and move on from past and present hurtful issues. There are no resentments or regrets in this relationship.
I do not feel like I can be myself and take opportunities to look after my needs or pursue my interests without guilt.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I can totally express myself in this relationship and I am encouraged to look after personal needs, pursue my interests and follow my dreams.
Since I have been in this relationship I no longer have a social life apart from my spouse and kids.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I express my independence and have developed a fulfilling balance among family, spouse and other relationships outside the home.
I have a hard time respecting my spouse.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I look up to my spouse and respect who they are and what they stand for.
I have a hard time trusting my spouse.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I have no problem trusting my spouse and it seems like there are no secrets.
I am tired of being wrong all the time.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I feel that my ideas are always listened to, appreciated and respected.
It seems like my relationship is held together by shear determination and will power.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
Even though this relationship takes work it feels effortless and natural.
I do not feel that my differences or deficits are acceptable to my spouse. I do not feel good enough.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I am cherished and esteemed for my differences and strengths and I do not have any concerns about what my spouse thinks of me.
I wish there were more meaningful activities we developed and did together that made a difference in our world.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I enjoy doing meaningful activities with my spouse and in some way we have joined together for the purpose of making a difference in our world.
I feel like I have to avoid all sensitive issues to keep the peace.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
No issue is off topic and I can bring up just about anything no matter how personal or sensitive.
I’m afraid to ask for what I want.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I’m free to ask for what I want.
We don't have the same sense of humor.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
We enjoy each other's company and laugh freely and frequently together.
I can’t remember the last time I heard verbal praise or I love you.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I get plenty of verbal praise, appreciation, encouragement and I hear I love you more than enough.
I find more fault than potential in this relationship.*
- Definitely
- Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
I see value and an extraordinary future in this relationship.
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The Extreme Marriage Makeover Challenge™

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